Meds

When your shrink calls you crazy, you know it's bad
My neuroses are constant--not just a fad
Like hip huggers or skinny jeans
Saadia without meds borders on the obscene
OCD, depressive, manic,
Always in a fucking panic
Prozac, Lexapro
Fire up my mojo
Xanax and Wellbutrin
Leave me with a permagrin
With all these drugs I could be a pharmacist
Using two toned capsules as an exorcist
For demons that I don't approach
Who still manage to encroach
On my space
At a somewhat alarming pace
Maybe the good doctor's delusion
Contributes to my confusion
Readers, at least I'm not dull
It's hard to be boring when you always have a mouthful
Of pills
That supposedly help emotional ills
Of course Dr. F thinks different things
These are the words that mindfuck brings

Good Teeth

All my readers know I'm not right
Without my issues, though, I'd be Saadia-lite
Who wants that? Let's be real
Saadia-heavy is the best fucking deal
One of my problems is my dental obsession
Someone with nice teeth makes a great first impression
Straight, white teeth are an aphrodisiac
A pretty smile hits me like a hard core attack
Good teeth leave me mesmerized
Making me feel like I've won a prize
My heart thumps and my face feels heated
A great smile keeps you winning, while others have conceded
I remember people by their dentistry
If you have gorgeous teeth, please let me see
To make you smile...what a bonus that would be
My mother claims my fixation is a fetish
I argue that it's more of a wish
That everyone, everywhere would think about orthodontics
To humor me, one of your favorite lunatics

Jamie's Tits

Jamie's tits defy reason
They keep a man warm or cool, depending on the season
She struts her stuff
Calling all his bluffs
Her tits seem to speak for themselves
Jutting out like well-built bookshelves
If they could talk, they would say, "Hi!"
When a girl looks like that, there's no need to lie
When she laughs, shimmy's and shakes what she's got
It's the end of the story. A period. A dot.
Who can resist tits like hers?
Her breasts are like money, buying diamonds and furs
Who even cares that she has gorgeous eyes?
Any man looks at her chest--and then he buys
Their fabulousity
Is apparent in their generosity
When Jamie shakes her money maker, we're not talking about her ass
Her tits put her in first place, at the head of the class