Controversial
Begging me to be merciful
Using words like need and complete
Forever maimed by my conceit
A hole
In his soul
That drips toxic tears
Can I show mercy after all these years?
Can I he whispers will you
Why does his touch feel so new?
I am colder than death
Stealing his breath
Chemistry or biology
Our unfinished anthology
He elicits
An illicit
Feeling
Our history is appealing
Beauty excuses
Many abuses
The visual wins
No matter the spin
Crimes of fiction
Addiction
Are quickly dismissed
With the promise of a tryst
Lovely
Fantasy
Her flesh is payment
For costly arguments
Admission
Decision
A girl that looks good can be ugly inside
Needing more--always dissatisfied
He provides and forgives
She takes, letting him live
The lies he tells me are so grand
Ornamental and impressive
Within moments, I forget the bland
He holds my hand
Attention excessive
Trying to twist off my wedding band
The lay of this land
Familiar but still expressive
Plentiful as coastal sand
Why weren't my feelings manned?
Protected, dismissive
My interest burns like a brand
Playing with my hair, every strand
His want aggressive
Where I stand
Is banned
*A villanelle is a poetic form which entered English-language poetry in the late 1800s from the imitation of French models. Nineteen lines long, they are poems written in Tercets with only two rhymes, the first and third line of the first stanza alternating as the third line in each successive stanza and forming a couplet at the close.
The above example is not a TRUE villanelle, hence the title.
He insinuates
With his smile
His suggestion permeates
My denial
Primitive affinity
Nuclear attraction
Me, myself and I...the trinity
Fleeting satisfaction
My idea pleases
He unzips my skin
His whisper teases
I let him in
He wants me available and ready
Noticing secret, feminine details
Rewind, from behind, wicked and steady
Goddess he whispers ultimate female
Eight hundred count sheets protect like armor
A heated equation: flesh and cotton
Exposed but getting tender and warmer
Fear of the forbidden is forgotten
Who is this man who brings me such pleasure?
Elegant fingers, profane attraction
Craves and wants me more than he can measure
His obsession completes the transaction
Adoration and infatuation
Slower I whisper opening my eyes
His laugh is an erotic libation
Answered question, necessary sunrise
Driving a focused man to distraction
With frivolous interaction
Able to ignite
Powerful as kryptonite
Superman on his knees
Hypnotized by expertise
The potency of woman
Can be a disastrous omen
Want and need
Expectations exceed
Seductive
Disruptive
Lips, hips, tits--a beautifully wrapped gift
Manipulation is swift
Attraction has no warning
Unstable as a shoestring
Embrace
She is everyplace
Secret
Addictive as a cigarette
Mystical power
Mesmerizing as a thundershower
Continuous encore
Pleasure predator
Over and over, again and again
Obsessive, exposed, excessive, insane
Virginity lost
At a fantastic cost
Purists complain
Demanding restraint from the profane
Abel and Cain
Can I abstain?
Amused, I laugh
Finding defense on my behalf
Innocent until proven otherwise
Memory is an invaluable prize
Recognition
Is sometimes intuition
Sudden intimacy, instant friendship
Like watching a filmstrip
That you've seen before
Not a whisper, but a roar
Immediate understanding
Connection, commanding
I know you said silently
Flaws overlooked gently
Allegiance right away
Raw like doomsday
Respect
The subject
Afterwards, I feel electric
An eccentric heretic
Erotic
Even tantric
I remember his voice
My decision, my choice
Sweetheart, he chants, bi-coastal brilliance
Dependent on my nonchalance
Texts that read ready
Make me instantly heady
Heated
My inhibitions deleted
Unfamiliar, foreign
Cellular Superman
Would his touch be as infernal?
Branding flesh--clues external
He releases me always
Without a gaze
Only praise
I exit, amazed
I love the word bombshell
Inamorata and jezebel
I enjoy saying hellified
When I'm dressed up and blow dried
I like the three syllables and the mouth feel
The way I say it closes the deal
I tell my husband he's uxorious
Saadia's lexicon is luxurious
Like shatoosh or cashmere
Or an expensive souvenir
Of course, words like raw and risk make me smile
As do elegant, quirk, freak and nubile
I will use swear words as punctuation
Until the cuss police issue a citation
Motherfucker!--said with an exclamation
Dissolves every ounce of my frustration
A well placed word is a magical occurrence
Strong words are like weapons--my self defense
Back in the day, I was voted Class Flirt
A long haired, girly girl wearing a miniskirt
I didn’t mean to tease
Always speaking Lolita-ese
Daddy’s princess
A study in excess
Long limbs in constant motion
Forever causing a commotion
Varsity tennis, student body president
Running into little boys like an accident
Too friendly, too crazy, too too much
Infernal in high school, hot to the touch
Where did she go?
At times I miss her so
Other days she’s back--ready to misbehave
When I feel her presence, I almost try to wave
I am disgusted when my food touches
I'm aware that this is one of my insane crutches
When my potatoes touch my entree
It basically ruins my whole day
Words like casserole and stew make me nauseous
And those who eat these atrocities leave me cautious
I like my plate arranged just so
Heaping dishes push me over like a domino
My husband and kids laugh at me
The roll their eyes, but don't agree
They like to mix all of their food together
And giggle when I become untethered
'On the side' is my favorite command
As long as my food is seperate...who cares if it's bland?
When your shrink calls you crazy, you know it's bad
My neuroses are constant--not just a fad
Like hip huggers or skinny jeans
Saadia without meds borders on the obscene
OCD, depressive, manic,
Always in a fucking panic
Prozac, Lexapro
Fire up my mojo
Xanax and Wellbutrin
Leave me with a permagrin
With all these drugs I could be a pharmacist
Using two toned capsules as an exorcist
For demons that I don't approach
Who still manage to encroach
On my space
At a somewhat alarming pace
Maybe the good doctor's delusion
Contributes to my confusion
Readers, at least I'm not dull
It's hard to be boring when you always have a mouthful
Of pills
That supposedly help emotional ills
Of course Dr. F thinks different things
These are the words that mindfuck brings
All my readers know I'm not right
Without my issues, though, I'd be Saadia-lite
Who wants that? Let's be real
Saadia-heavy is the best fucking deal
One of my problems is my dental obsession
Someone with nice teeth makes a great first impression
Straight, white teeth are an aphrodisiac
A pretty smile hits me like a hard core attack
Good teeth leave me mesmerized
Making me feel like I've won a prize
My heart thumps and my face feels heated
A great smile keeps you winning, while others have conceded
I remember people by their dentistry
If you have gorgeous teeth, please let me see
To make you smile...what a bonus that would be
My mother claims my fixation is a fetish
I argue that it's more of a wish
That everyone, everywhere would think about orthodontics
To humor me, one of your favorite lunatics
Jamie's tits defy reason
They keep a man warm or cool, depending on the season
She struts her stuff
Calling all his bluffs
Her tits seem to speak for themselves
Jutting out like well-built bookshelves
If they could talk, they would say, "Hi!"
When a girl looks like that, there's no need to lie
When she laughs, shimmy's and shakes what she's got
It's the end of the story. A period. A dot.
Who can resist tits like hers?
Her breasts are like money, buying diamonds and furs
Who even cares that she has gorgeous eyes?
Any man looks at her chest--and then he buys
Their fabulousity
Is apparent in their generosity
When Jamie shakes her money maker, we're not talking about her ass
Her tits put her in first place, at the head of the class
